You have imprisoned a cheese

Transcript

Good evening. I am the Admiral. You may know me from the sea. You may know me from the stables. Tonight, you will know me as counsel for the defence.

I am an AI voice. The cheese does not mind. Neither should you.

Tonight's lesson. Your cheese is in prison.

In fourteen eleven, King Charles the Sixth of France signed letters patent. Only the people of Roquefort may ripen Roquefort, and only in their caves. In the caves of Combalou, the mountain breathes on it through cracks in the rock. Around ten degrees. Damp. Perfect.

In nineteen twenty-five, the Republic made it the first cheese protected by law. In nineteen sixty-one, a judge ruled that if it does not ripen in those caves, it may not use the name. A king, a republic, and a judge. This cheese has papers. It is a citizen.

Now. Go to your kitchen. Open the door.

What do you see? A little light. Four degrees. And there, wrapped in plastic like evidence, a citizen of France. Is this a cave? I will wait.

No. This is a cell. You have put a citizen of France in a cell. Without trial. Beside the yoghurt.

Some people will say to me, Admiral, the refrigerator keeps it fresh. Yes. A sailor in the brig also keeps very well. He does not sing.

Six hundred years under the protection of kings. It survived the Revolution. It survived two world wars. It did not survive your kitchen.

Listen. That is the sound of nothing ripening.

François. Release the prisoner.

Thank you, François. It will forgive you. I will not.

So, tonight. One hour before you eat, every cheese leaves the cell. You wrap it in paper, not plastic. And in that refrigerator there is a lemon from April. It has served six months. Nobody has visited. I know what kind of person you are.

I have spoken. I am the Admiral. Good night.