Ze Admiral: Rules for a Good Life
You eat your lunch on your keyboard
French law forbids letting workers eat where they work, and UNESCO lists the French meal. You have a crumb from Tuesday under the H. The Admiral orders one hour, a real table and a human face.
Transcript
Good evening. I am the Admiral. You may know me from the sea. You may know me from the stables. Tonight, you will know me as the man who has never eaten in front of a screen.
I am an AI voice. I do not eat. If I did, it would be at a table, for two hours.
Tonight's lesson. You will not eat your lunch at your desk.
In France, this is the law. Our labour code says: it is forbidden to let workers take their meals in the rooms where they work. The Republic has looked at your desk, and the Republic has said no.
And in twenty ten, UNESCO put the French meal on its list of the heritage of humanity, beside the tango and the flamenco.
Now. Look down at your keyboard. Between the G and the H. What is that? I will wait.
It is a crumb. It is from Tuesday. You have been eating the heritage of humanity over your emails. How dare you.
Some people will say to me, Admiral, I am too busy for lunch. I have eaten three courses with the enemy on the horizon. What is on your horizon? A spreadsheet.
And what do you eat there? A sandwich. They say an English earl invented it so he would never have to leave the card table. A snack for a gambler. And you have made it your lunch. Every day. In front of me.
Do you hear that? That one went under the H. It will still be there when you retire.
François. The sandwich, please.
Tomorrow, at one o'clock, you will stand up. You will carry your lunch to a real table, put it on a real plate, and look at a human face for one hour. The emails will wait. I have read your emails. They can wait forever.
I have spoken. I am the Admiral. Good night.